I'm not quite sure why I hold this double standard for myself. I don't feel other non-regular-church-goers are bad Christians, so why do I feel that way for myself? I feel bad that I've only taken Wyatt to church once since he's been born. I feel bad that the last time I took Evelyn to church was on Easter. Most of the time it's just easier to go by myself if I can. Evelyn squirms, talks, wants to run away....you know the normal toddler behavior when you want them to sit still. I feel like I don't get much out of mass when she's along because I'm too busy trying to keep her happy/quiet and not disturbing the people around us. I remember before having kids being distracted during mass by a child nearby and thinking to myself that I wouldn't take my kids to church until they could sit still for an hour. Lofty expectation for a child of any age? Yes.
I just feel like the past two months I've been so wrapped up in trying to achieve status-quo in our household that I've forgotten about my relationship with God. Last night I realized I hadn't even thanked him for giving us Wyatt. So I've decided that if I can't swing getting to church on a regular basis in this point in my life, I can at least make a quite "date" with God to have a conversation once a week.