Monday, December 29, 2008

How do you say goodbye to a friend?

Today my friend Emilie was laid to rest. She lost her battle with Sarcoma in the early hours of Christmas Eve. Emilie and I met online while planning our weddings. I immediately identified with her because she had an "old soul". A soul that had given her years of wisdom at a young age. These type of people always draw me in. We kept in contact after marriage and through having children. She found she had cancer at the beginning of the pregnancy of her 2nd son. Shortly after his birth she found out it was uncurable.

I've watched her and her husband re-evaluate their lives to enjoy every single drop of time that God gave them. Last month when dropping of a meal I walked in to find her on the couch holding her baby and smelling his hair. (I found myself wondering how long it had been since I had done the same with my own children.) She was generous enough to let me hold her baby and let me smell his hair. This was the last time I was to see my friend. Had I know that what would I have said? "I love you Emilie?" I don't know. Part of me is happy to have such a fond rememberance of our last time together and another part feels guilty that I didn't go and see her when I heard she was finally failing. I guess I didn't want to crowd her or take and precious time left that she had away from her and her family.

Her funeral was so terribly sad and yet beautiful. She had the full Christmas choir at the Basilica and the angelic voices gave a surreal presence to her spirit rising from this earth into heaven above. I felt blessed to call myself her friend and better because I knew her. My heart goes out to her husband Steve and her young sons.

Goodbye my friend Emilie, I love you!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

A life well lived

We lost Neil's grandmother this morning and now she is at peace. We were able to say goodbye to her yesterday. She was a wonderful lady, always happy to have her family around her. She will be missed.
(This picture was taken just last weekend at her Christmas celebration.)

Monday, December 22, 2008

A second Christmas of Loss

Last year my grandmother passed away a few days before Christmas and this year it looks the same for Neil's grandmother. Something internal happened yesterday afternoon and in a short period of time she became comatose. Her wishes are to go naturally at her home, so it is just a matter of time now. I went over right away and spent 4 hours with her yesterday. It felt so wonderful to share time with her while her spirit is still with her body. I didn't have the chance to do that with my grandmother.

I am sad, but I feel at peace with her going right now. She doesn't appear to be in any pain and I am thankful for that. We're going to go over again this afternoon and take the kids to say goodbye. I'm not sure if Evelyn will understand any of it, but she will certainly pick up on our sadness.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Giddy little Mommy!

Evelyn is going to Wisconsin with her Grandparents this weekend to help celebrate her cousin's 4th birthday. (Happy Birthday Aiden!) I'm giddy with delight as I imagine Neil and I only having to care for one child. We've been planning fun stuff for our little "Wyatt weekend". It will be nice for him to have our undivided attention, which he's never had. Yeah!!!!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Obligitory Santa pictures

We visted Santa over the weekend and it pretty much went how I expected. Evelyn was excited and wanted to talk to him. Wyatt cried his little eyes out.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Are you serious?

This thought went through my head yesterday after Evelyn told me she ate a light off the Christmas tree. At first I thought she was kidding, but then she showed me exactly the light she ate. Yup, she ate at least part of it. I looked it up on the internet, but there's no information. We're just making sure all her meals are high fiber, I don't think there's much else we can do.

We took the kids ice skating yesterday for the first time at a local park. Both were pretty wobbly and my back hurt after only a few minutes from bending over and hanging onto them. I just wish the weather was a little warmer. Skating in the teens/twenties is pretty cold for them (and me too!) I didn't bother bringing the camera because I knew my hands would be full.

But the most exciting thing that happend yesterday was we adopted our very own elf. (See I experienced a house elf at my SILs. Basically Santa "sends" an elf to your family to watch over the children to make sure they're good. Every night he flies back to the North Pole to report your behavior to Santa and in the morning he's in a new spot. (Magic!) The kids can talk to him, but they can't touch him or he'll lose his magic. Evie named our elf Fritz. This morning Evelyn raced downstairs to search for Fritz! It's really a lot of fun. Then when Christmas comes Fritz will go back with Santa until next year. (We picked ours up at a local Halmark)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Deep thoughts

All I seem to think about these days is how fortunate we are. There isn't anything we need that we don't have and really our list of "wants" is mostly related to having/planning fun with our family. It must be something about getting older or having children. I've always felt "lucky", but more so now with two health and happy children playing in the background.

We're participating in sponsoring a family for Christmas this year instead of buying some adult gifts. I had a magical moment a few weeks ago while walking to the cash register with a red bike in my cart. I felt like I was floating on clouds thinking of the small boy who would recieve this gift. I haven't felt the true spirit of Christmas in past years. Looking at the bike with a large gold bow on it makes me feel like there's hope in the world. Hope for humans to unite instead of fight. Hope for people to ban together to tackle world hunger and disease. Hope to save our planet from global warming.

The need to pray for others has also been very strong lately. I feel helpless with so many around us that suffer. Disease, health issues, cancer, death. It's been a very hard year for so many we know, but we've also seen so much life. So many friends and family continue to grow their families. God's will to create a circle of life is so visable to me now.