Monday, December 29, 2008

How do you say goodbye to a friend?

Today my friend Emilie was laid to rest. She lost her battle with Sarcoma in the early hours of Christmas Eve. Emilie and I met online while planning our weddings. I immediately identified with her because she had an "old soul". A soul that had given her years of wisdom at a young age. These type of people always draw me in. We kept in contact after marriage and through having children. She found she had cancer at the beginning of the pregnancy of her 2nd son. Shortly after his birth she found out it was uncurable.

I've watched her and her husband re-evaluate their lives to enjoy every single drop of time that God gave them. Last month when dropping of a meal I walked in to find her on the couch holding her baby and smelling his hair. (I found myself wondering how long it had been since I had done the same with my own children.) She was generous enough to let me hold her baby and let me smell his hair. This was the last time I was to see my friend. Had I know that what would I have said? "I love you Emilie?" I don't know. Part of me is happy to have such a fond rememberance of our last time together and another part feels guilty that I didn't go and see her when I heard she was finally failing. I guess I didn't want to crowd her or take and precious time left that she had away from her and her family.

Her funeral was so terribly sad and yet beautiful. She had the full Christmas choir at the Basilica and the angelic voices gave a surreal presence to her spirit rising from this earth into heaven above. I felt blessed to call myself her friend and better because I knew her. My heart goes out to her husband Steve and her young sons.

Goodbye my friend Emilie, I love you!


Rebecca said...

It really was a beautiful service. The choir was amazing.

I am so sorry that you have had so much loss this Christmas season. I just read about your husband's grandmother.

kristine said...

April, this was beautifully written.
Even though I commented on Neil's Grandmother, I, like rebecca, am sorry for all of your losses.

I hope you're doing ok.

Jill said...

April: wonderful words about a wonderful woman. it is amazing how many lives she touched. I am blessed to have met all of you while planning our wedding so long ago! take care

Barbara said...

I love your story about smelling Ben's hair (it was Ben, wasn't it? Shows you how with it I am these days.) Someday, perhaps you could write that up and send it along to Steve. He'd love it.

I'm sorry, too, for your multiple losses this holiday season. My cousin died suddenly about a week before Emilie. As my grandma used to say, "It never rains but it pours." You, Neil, and all of your family have been in my thoughts and prayers.